Living this life

Life is a constant battle of ups and downs. You never know what the next day or week will hold. I have always been an optimistic person. I always try to find the good in every situation, give people more chances than they deserve, and see a person for who they really are. Over the last year I have been battling health issues that I never thought I would have to deal with. I have always been healthy, physically fit, and for the most part ate healthy.

Last year I experienced a significant gain in weight for the first time in my life. I gained 40 unexplained pounds but no matter how hard I worked out or how healthy I ate, the pounds kept coming. Once I finally broke down and went to the doctor all of my questions suddenly had answers. After 9 long months of testing and multiple diet and lifestyle changes, I was finally diagnosed with Lupus. Even though the news was bit of a shock, having   an answer was such a relief.  During the time of testing and being emotionally exhausted, I was also planning a wedding. Lupus is a chronic, autoimmune disease that attacks certain parts of the body. In my case Lupus decided to attack my muscle, joints, and nerves.

Daily it is a constant battle to overcome the side effects. There are days I want to stay in bed or that I physically cannot lift the laundry hamper and I become frustrated. But then I remind myself that Lupus compared to so many other sicknesses is a small battle that I can and will overcome. Many people like to use a sickness to their advantage, I like to use mine as a constant reminder of how strong I am.

In February 2015 I was the heaviest I have ever been. I would look at myself in the mirror and become discouraged at what I saw. This very same month I decided to join a work out team at my local gym. One of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. Not only did I lose 20 pounds (the healthy way), I gained my confidence and have built strength back that I thought I would never have. Having an auto immune disease is a very confusing battle that people who do not have one have trouble understanding. Thankfully after extensive research and lifestyle changes Lupus is not taking over my life. I control my Lupus.

Fast forward to August 2015 I am all of a sudden hit with another health challenge. Infertility. We all have this timeline for our life. We have to be married by a certain age, have children at a certain age, build a house, and the list goes on, but quickly lose track of our self and well –being. Infertility, just like Lupus, is an emotional roller-coaster. Testing, doctor appointments, blood work, and hours of driving to specialty clinics… it’s exhausting. How many of us think we will have trouble having children? It is frustrating. I have days that I am more emotional than others. People tell me all the time “just relax, it will happen.”But they do not understand the process and treatment you have to undergo. It’s not just a “relax, it will happen” situation. I often question why God is making me go thru this. But I quickly am reminded it is all a part of his Devine plan.

The moral to it all is over the last year God has shown me there is a plan He has in store for everyone’s life. Thru infertility, moving to Michigan and Lupus God constantly reminds me of how much He loves me and that I will overcome these battles. I have a support group of women that are going thru the same thing. Some have been battling infertility for one year and some ten years, but one thing (other than infertility) that we all have in common is our Faith. We may have days where we are emotional or struggling to overcome the heartache, but will all know we will be blessed in this storm.

No matter what you or anyone you know is going thru, remember to keep your head held high and never lose your Faith.

“Faith is all about believing. You don’t know how it will happen, but you know it will”.-Unknown

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